More Thoughts from Dolly

Ms. Parton was a huge ally of the LBGTQ+ community. She will have the last word.

I first wrote this article two weeks ago. It is planned to be the final installment of a 32-part series based on my book “Positive Sexuality for Men,” which was published last December. As I was collecting my thoughts and quotes from the book to be included in this article, I had copied and pasted the final paragraph of the book, a quote from Dolly Parton.

As I was completing my writing, and finalizing this last installment of the series, I checked the news online, and saw that Dolly had just passed away. 

So, today I am back to finish what I started two weeks ago. So much has been said and written about Dolly, and her successful and magnanimous life, including her vast philanthropy and support of the LGBTQ+ community. 

Her philanthropic efforts supported childhood literacy, medical research and people in need. Dolly’s Imagination Library provides free books each month to children from birth to age 5, regardless of their family's income, eventually expanded across the U.S. and internationally - over 300 MILLION books!

In 1990, the tabloid Star outed Dolly’s long-time chauffeur and good friend, Jason Pirro, who was a trans man: “Dolly Parton is being chauffeured around Hollywood by a 300-lb. transsexual who has had an operation to change from a woman into a man,” Starshockingly reported at the time. 

The Star: “Dolly has said that there’s nothing wrong with transexuals.” 

In an exclusive interview, Pirro told the Star, “Dolly has been good to me. I’m not real comfortable talking about myself. Dolly knows all about me and is a very nice lady.”

Dolly Parton’s editor, Elissa Altman, reported: “She was rightly known for her humanity and decency, and when a member of her team was transitioning—this was in the 90s—she paid for their care. She was a profoundly good and kind person; it wasn’t an act.”

Yes, Dolly paid for Jason’s gender-affirming care! She was truly sex-positive, which was especially significant in the 1990s!

We are each on our own unique journey, learning and exploring sexuality as we go. We are learning to shed the negativity and shame that has defined sex in our culture; exploring our bodies and minds to receive the gift of our sexuality, and to appreciate and share that gift with others.

We are learning to accept our bodies without judgment, to explore them for our own pleasure, to and honor them by prioritizing our sexual health and safety; and adopting a positive sexual perspective, for ourselves and others.

Expressing our authentic gender identity and sexual orientations are cornerstones of our identity, providing a foundation on which to build our sexual experiences. There is no shame in our gender identities, nor is there any shame in our sexual orientations. They simply represent who we are.

Masculinity is that nebulous construct that we men aspire to, without even having a clear definition of it. The goal of masculinity is to have positive moral character, respecting others, a confident sense of self, and being comfortable in your own skin. That makes you a sexy man!

Ethical sexual activity with a partner depends on open, honest, and direct communication. At times, our interactions may be brief and even nonverbal; in ongoing relationships, communication will be deeper and continuing as a relationship develops over time. Consent is essential for every sexual encounter, giving all partners the power to assent to, or deny, any activity - that’s positive sexuality!

Seek out your authentic self, and explore it. If timid little Jay can do it, you can do it, too! You will find yourself stronger than you realize, and you will find peace with yourself.

“Dolly Parton: “I try not to get into the politics of everything. I try to get into the human element of it. I have some of everybody in my own immediate family and in my circle of employees. I’ve got transgender people. I’ve got gays. I’ve got lesbians. I’ve got drunks. I’ve got drug addicts — all within my own family. I know and love them all, and I do not judge,” she told The Hollywood Reporter. “I know and love them all, and I do not judge. And I just see how broken-hearted they get over certain things and I know how real they are. I know how important this is to them. That’s who they are. They cannot help that any more than I can help being Dolly Parton, you know, the way people know me. If there’s something to be judged, that is God’s business. But we are all God’s children and how we are is who we are.”

Excerpts From POSITIVE SEXUALITY FOR MEN - Jayson R. Diesel. This material may be protected by copyright.

I hope you have enjoyed reading these excerpts. They all remain available on Substack. The full journey, and all the personal (and sometimes erotic) stories are in the book. Many readers have also said these stories are the best parts of the book. Order your copy today.